Year One: Lessons Learned

Chris & I just celebrated our ONE year anniversary.  TIME FLIES.  We definitely can’t call ourselves seasoned marriage pros, but we have learned so much in this year. As much as marriage is fun it takes a lot of effort and work.  Here are some of the things i’ve noticed and learned in that year that helped…

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In no particular order of importance… Here they are…

1.  Selflessness and service towards your spouse is KEY!

2.  Set realistic dinner goals and try to sit down and eat together.

3.  People fart.  Just give fair warning. (mostly husbands)

4.  Netflix cheating is real, DON’T DO IT.

5.  Not putting the toothpaste cap on or forgetting to put the toilet seat down can be lethal.

6.  Laundry never ends. Come up with a system to get it done in a timely manner. We are just figuring out one that works. (what am I gonna do when we have kids???)

7.  Have a specific place for important things like mail, keys, etc.

8.  Play games everywhere you go together.  (Our favorites are would you rather, heads up, and guess the movie quote.) Play games at home too. (some other favorites include nerts, cards against humanity, and ticket to ride.)

9.  The times you do FHE are worth it. (we’ve done it specifically about four times… whoops. But I was grateful when we did.)

10.  Take every opportunity to hang out with other couples.  Make married friends.

11.  Put the phone down. Just do it.

12.  The best times together are always spontaneous. (Go on a drive, get a red box, or visit a friend)

13.  Visit and hang out with your families.

14.  Plan parties and get togethers.

15.  Share each other’s burdens. (Continually communicate with your spouse with what is troubling you.  Then when they are in need of comfort you listen with genuine intent.

16.  Go on super cheap dates. (Our favorite, a maverick f’real and a round or two of Big Buck Hunter.)

17.  Attend all your church meetings and fulfill church callings. (Cannot stress this one enough.)

18.  Let your spouse have alone time.  (Hardest one for me.  I don’t generally love being alone so it is always hard for me to let Chris have time to himself, for him to think, get work done, and just have space. Yet, it’s necessary for a healthy marriage.)

19.  Read And They Were Not Ashamed: Strengthening Marriage Through Sexual Fulfillment.  (This book helped me leaps and bounds)

20.  Go get late night snacks. (personal fave, using the Wendy’s frosty keychain)

21. Talk kindly about your spouse and to your spouse.

22.  Go to sleep when you’re angry.

23.  Take time to clean your house together, it’s crazy rewarding.

24.  Keep the sabbath day holy,

25. Take the 5 love languages test. (Most helpful thing in someways.  Teaches you how to communicate love in a way your spouse resonates with

26.  Stay up late and laugh.

27.  Scripture study together, read talks etc. (Chris and I like to do the Companionship Inventory each week that is in the Preach My Gospel manual. It helps you as a couple to complete goals and just gives a set time each week that you can always talk about your relationship.)

28.  Read your patriarchal blessing to each other.

29.  Hold hands lots and Cuddle lots too.

30.  Constantly forgive.

31. Go on road trips.

32.  Eat really good food on occasion.

33. Go to the temple. Regularly. (Nothing helps my marriage more than going to the temple.  It reminds you of the blessings your relationship can receive and it helps you recognize and show gratitude for the blessings that have already been given by honoring your marital covenant.

34. Give the benefit of the doubt to your spouse.

35. Always kiss each other goodnight.

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